【视频】致异地恋的各位

It's popular relieved that long-distance relationships never work out.

人们一致认为，异地恋都不会有好结果。

But sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder.

但有时，地理上的远距离反而会让彼此的心变得更近。

And people learn to take their partners less for granted when they're not always around.

当恋人不在身边时，人们也会将目光和注意力多放在自己身上。

It's also worth noting that some couples far away from each other feel closer than couples who live with each other.

同理，一些异地的情侣会比同居的情侣感觉更亲密。

Because they're more willing to communicate their problems with one another.

因为他们更愿意向彼此交流他们的问题。

It all boils down to one word: Effort.

这一切都可以归结为一个词：努力。

Here's six tips on maintaining long-distance relationships.

这里有六个维持异地恋的小建议。

One, give them a personal gift to hold on to.

1、今日留一物，他日好相见。

Before the two of you depart give each other something you can hold on to and remember one another by.

在你们分别之前，给对方一个小礼物，让你们能够一直思念彼此。

A few examples you may be inspired by include exchanging nightlights, stuffed animals, jewelry, hoodies or mugs.

这里有一些例子可做参考：小夜灯、小玩偶、珠宝、连帽衫或马克杯都可。

What you decide to give your partner doesn't have to be big or expensive.

你要送的东西不一定要很大或很贵。

Instead, focus on how the object has served to bring meaning into your life.

相反，你需要考虑这个东西有什么样的深层含义。

Two, set routines and learn about each other's schedules.

2、制定计划，了解对方的时间安排。

Time zones can be tricky.

如果两人在不同的时区，可能会更难。

But learn to appreciate the differences.

但要学会从困难中找乐子。

This can teach you the value of patience and remind you that relationships don't thrive or grow from moments of instant gratification.

这可以教会你耐心，并提醒你，两情若是久长时，又岂在朝朝暮暮。

Once you and your partner get settled in and adjust to your new lifestyles, let each other know about your schedules and routines.

一旦你和你的恋人适应了这种新的沟通方式，让对方了解你的日程安排和日常生活。

Depending on how much of a difference your time zone is,

然后你们就可以根据时区的不同，

you may need to take turns accommodating to each other's availability to set up Skype dates or phone calls.

安排一个两个人都合适的时间给对方打视频电话。

It may sound daunting.

这听起来可能很麻烦。

But once the two of you figure out a rhythm that works for the both of you, the rest will set sail.

但一旦你们两个找到了适合你们的节奏，那后面的事就能迎刃而解了。

Three, build trust and try not to jump to conclusions or assume the worst.

3、建立信任，尽量不要草率下结论或做最坏的打算。

Life can be unpredictable.

世事多变。

So sometimes things come up such as family emergencies, working overtime or illness that may interrupt your usual communication patterns.

因此，有时会出现一些事情，比如家庭紧急情况、加班或生病，这些事情可能会打乱你们的日常生活。

Rather than worrying about whether your partner is cheating on you or if they've grown bored of the relationship and may be spending more time with their friends,

不要因此担心你的恋人是否对你不忠，或者他们是否已经厌倦了这段关系，或者他们觉得和朋友一起更好玩，

know that there's no actual proof or evidence to back up those anxious thoughts.

要知道，这些担忧都没有实际的证据。

Build trust with your partner.

恋人之间要互相信任。

And ask each other how you're feeling.

多询问对方的感受。

Rather than bottling up insecurity and making the walls bigger.

而不是把不安感咽进肚子里，然后整个人变得患得患失。

Getting answers directly from your partner is better than over analyzing and filling in those gaps yourself.

直接了当地询问你的另一半，好过你自己过度分析和脑补。

Four, it's not about how often you talk to each other.

4、不要过多关注你们之间聊天的次数。

Instead, focus on quality communication.

相反，应该把重点放在沟通的质量上。

Consistent communication is important when the two of you are apart from each other.

当你们两个人异地时，持续的沟通是很重要的。

Especially when the physical aspect of the relationship is absent.

尤其是对无法见面的情侣来说，沟通尤其重要。

But too much of it can also backfire and leave the two of you feeling smothered or burnt out.

但太多的交流会适得其反，让你们两个都感到窒息或筋疲力尽。

Rather than texting each other every hour of the day, find balance and moderation.

与其时时刻刻互相发短信，不如找到一个平衡和适度的点。

And focus on the quality of your conversations instead of how frequently the two of you talk.

把重点放在你们谈话的质量上，而不是你们两人交谈的频率。

You may come to find that the more you talk to each other, the more you end up talking about the same things in circles.

你可能会发现，你们彼此交谈的越多，你们就会一直在同样的事情上打转。

Rather than delving into a meaningful conversation that makes you appreciate each other's intellect ideas and perspectives.

一场深入且有意义的对话是很重要的，可以让你们欣赏对方的智慧、想法和观点。

Five, make time to see each other.

5、抽出时间去见对方。

But know that every visit may not be ideal, and that's ok.

但要知道，并不是每一次见面都是理想中的样子，这很正常。

When you visit each other, you may want to make the best out of your time together and plan to do exciting things.

去找对方时，你们可能想要充分利用你们在一起的时间，并一起做一些有趣的事情。

But we're all human.

但我们都只是普通人。

So allow room for flexibility instead of perfection.

因此，要留出一些灵活发挥的空间，不要事事巨细。

There may be times when you're exhausted from traveling back and forth, and just want to stay in and watch a movie with your partner.

有时，你可能会因为来回的奔波而筋疲力尽，只想呆在室内和你的爱人一起看一场电影。

Or perhaps there's a delay in your flight that may bleed into your dinner reservations.

或者你的航班或车次延误了，可能会让你赶不上预定的晚餐时间。

Doing fun activities and bonding with your partner is important.

安排一些有趣的活动，和你的伴侣建立联系很重要。

But sometimes it's good to just play things by ear and go with the flow.

但有时候，也要学会随机应变。

Remember, it's about the company you're with and not necessarily what the two of you do.

记住，陪伴才是最重要的，而不是你们选择去做什么。

Six, embrace the challenges together.

6、携手共迎挑战。

Long distance relationships are difficult.

异地恋是很困难的。

But don't let the challenges tear you apart.

但不要让这些挑战把你们打倒。

Instead, embrace them together.

相反，要拥抱它们。

Sometimes your insecurities may get the best of you.

有时，你的不安感的确会占上风。

Consequently, you may believe the two of you would be better off breaking up and meeting new people.

因此，你可能会想分手，去认识新的人。

Take a step back.

安静下来好好想想，

And think about why you held on for so long in the first place.

想想为什么你坚持了这么久。

Whether the two of you are apart because you're going to different schools or because of a job promotion,

不管你们俩是因为上不同的学校还是因为工作而分开，

know that the long distance is only temporary, and that you're working on yourselves before the two of you can be together again.

要知道，异地只是暂时的，你们一直都在努力，目的是为了两个人能够最终在一起。

It's a common misconception to think, that in order for relationships to work, one person has to sacrifice their needs and desires for the other.

常见的一种误解是，为了维持关系，一个人必须为另一个人做出牺牲和让步。

In reality, this is how relationships often break apart when people feel stifled and can't grow together.

在现实中，这就是当人们感到窒息、无法共同成长时，爱情破裂的原因。

Never lose sight of the big picture.

多想想未来朝朝暮暮的日子，

And don't give up!

不要轻易放弃！